Every Time I am on my Yoga Mat I Never Know What to Expect

I was first introduced to yoga about 8 years ago, but it didn’t spark any special interest back then. I remember being very nervous as I had no idea whatsoever what to expect – thought scattered around in my head, my mind was too occupied trying to figure out how I am even going to follow the instructor knowing I’m a complete beginner at this. 

I don’t remember much, except for, I was trying very hard not to be the worst in class. I wanted to look effortless pretending I am enjoying and my arms and thighs are not burning as we were holding warrior 2.

I remember trying to “find my zen” and breathe through it all looking around to see how others are doing, thinking “ah, I wish I had that perfect split” watching a girl (clearly a gymnast) sliding down into a graceful split. I took a few classes back then but didn’t see it as something I’d keep doing, I felt almost out of place.

But years later it found me again when I needed to bring balance into my life.

I found a studio that was offering hot yoga classes and fell in love instantly. Fell in love with the sensations during classes, my progress, the heat and humidity in a room, amazing teachers, and how skillfully they were adjusting the students, leading and effortlessly demonstrating asanas in each class making jokes to cheer up our angry-looking super focused red faces.

You’ve probably heard there is a saying “yoga is a lifestyle”. It made me feel quite skeptical at first, I thought people were really making a big deal out of these exercises. Only after practicing for a while, I started to realize the true meaning of these words. 

Yoga is so much more than striking a pose during your regular Sunday morning Hatha class. Yoga has become more of a spiritual practice, a philosophy with profound wisdom and deep secrets I am still yet to discover and learn. 

Yoga is an iceberg where only the 10% you see above the water is physical practice, and the remaining part, the most significant and important part is hidden.

That is where your inner work begins, that whole universe within you that you turn to during the quiet time with yourself, meditating, breathing, where you can find answers to your most desired questions if only you become quiet enough to hear and that is so much more important than being able to do splits. 

Yoga is, indeed, a lifetime journey to finding your higher self, your truth through building dedication, discipline, and self-love.

Yoga is, indeed, a key that can open doors to lifes’ most fascinating spaces. 

There is an infinite amount of edges to look beyond and veils to be lifted and that’s why yoga is so eternally fascinating to me. 

Every time I am on my mat I never know what to expect from my own practice: is it going to be vigorous and sweaty with lots of chaturangas and jumping into inversions? or lazy and slow, barely moving? Maybe all I can do today is curling up into a child’s’ pose, or laying on my mat resting peacefully in savasana? 

Sometimes I need to simply move intuitively to cry it out and release some stagnant heavy energy that’s been sitting deep inside for a while… 

The beauty is that whatever it is that your body and soul desire, as long as you honour those wishes, you are doing YOGA.

(Darya Yogi Story from Russia – Canada)

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